How to Beat Queues!

So bite me, I am in a crazy mood today! Gotta make up for all the lost days spent studying for gre.. Anyway here are a few tips to make sure u never have to wait in a line, ever again:-

1) Deliberately stand outside the mess 15 mins before opening time
2) In the bathroom, put a sign outside your favourite loo saying "Restricted access, Members only.. Trespassers shall be prosecuted"
3) In the queue for paying any fees, talk very loudly to your friends about how you are just recovering from Syphillis
4) Outside CCC, just dash in through the door shouting "Its rebooting! Its rebooting!"
5) Inside CCC, pretend to be the adminstrator and ask first years to vacate their seats for some "technical repair"
6) In the dispensary, have 4 people carry you in a stretcher directly into the doc's room.
7) Outside a phone booth, sing loudly "Babuji zaraa dheere chalo..."
8) At the bank, take a few coins and jingle them loudly near the ears of the person in front of you.. Then when he/she looks back at you, ask them in as rough a voice as possible "Why so serious??"
9) Dont have a bath or brush your teeth for a week: Guaranteed to work!