Engineer Jokes..

I have heard of many jokes about engineers in the past but there are a few which really go the whole hog.. Some of these are mine while the others are hearsay.. Enjoy:

Take 1

To the optimist, the glass is half full. To the pessimist it is half empty. To the engineer: The glass is twice as big as it needs to be!

Take 2

A pastor, a doctor, and an engineer were waiting one morning for their golf round due to a particularly slow group of golfers. The engineer fumed "What's with these guys? We must have been waiting for over 30 mins!" The pastor said " Hey here comes the grounds keeper. Lets have a word with him.. Hi John, what's with that group ahead of us? They seem rather slow.."

The grounds keeper replied "Oh yes, that's a group of blind firefighters. They lost their sight saving our clubhouse from a fire last year so we let them play for free anytime."

The group was silent was a minute. The pastor said "That's so sad, I think i will say a special prayer for them tonight." The doctor said "Good idea. And I am going to contact my opthalmologist friend and see if anything can be done for them."

The engineer, after much thought, said: "Why cant these guys play at night??"

Take 3

An engineer was crossing the road one day when a frog called out to him and said "If you kiss me, i will turn into a beautiful princess." He bent over, picked up the frog and put it in his pocket. The frog spoke again "If you kiss me and change me back into a beautiful princess then i will marry you!" The engineer took out the frog, smiled at it and put it back in his pocket. The frog got angry and shouted " What's the matter? I told you I am a beautiful princess who wants to marry you, why wont you kiss me?"

The engineer replied "Look, I am an engineer. I dont have time for a girlfriend! But a talking frog?? Now THAT's cool!!"