On Engagement

No, not me! Heaven forbid for I am just 21- Way too young to be sacrificed.. I speak of my cousin sister, Navya Prabhu, who got engaged this wednesday (27-05-2009) at the age of 23 and I was in apprehension the entire week knowing that my generation was growing up. I always knew it was gonna happen eventually but who-really-gives-a-sh*t-till-you-see-it-happen-before-your-own-eyes?? Sorry for the emphasis but I cant express it any less. Then I think of Rice U and a content smile comes- I got atleast 6-7 more years of single life..

Back to the topic, if you are a typical Hindu then you would have been to one of these events. For those who came in late, a simple procedure involved:-

1) Get bored of single life/Be really content but your parents get in the mood to be..well.. parent-y

2) Parents inform 90% human population (No, we still dislike George W. Bush and the terrorists) about a prospective match-up

3) Jobless people (Nearly always home-makers, female) get together to do the primary screening of candidates- Note here that a 6 figure, NRI holds more weightage than whether or not he is gay, a transvestite or simply has a criminal record

4) Once a primary screening is done, the Priest is beckoned. This person has the power to decide whether or not two people are compatible, to heck with what those two think: I swear, sometimes I think the Nazi's are still around!

5) If the horoscopes (Old Jerry Seinfeld's comedy routine material) match, photos galore are sent to both sides. Poor parents are still unaware of photoshop at this point!

6) The "Girl seeing" ceremony, typical tradition that has continued from the Jurassic period and is highly male dominated (Why is there no "Man seeing" ceremony then?)

7) If approved, the get to know each other part: Oh this part is enjoyed most by Phone operators who see a surge in calls/sms. The only modern touch to this neanderthal procedure sees less eye-to-eye and more phone screen-to-phone screen.

8) Engagement time and invitations printed and given in person (Notice the irony with the last point) to most, if not all, people.

9) The actual ceremony itself which is a huge pain to all senses, except if the food is of a good standard. But given that most such ceremonies simply HAVE to be in a temple hall, keep hoping!

All in all, its a custom which seems to get more exuberant with time but never fades away. I sometimes wonder what all the fuss about engagement is: Everywhere else, all I see is a guy (and in rare occasion, the gal) propose to the partner with a simple "Will you marry me?" the answer to which usually depends on the size of the ring these days, and thats it! I sometimes think this whole drama is for nothing, except for keeping in touch with your Indian roots..